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hiveonboard

justmayowa

JustMayowa

I have always lived in the south-western region all my life and never traveled beyond its borders. 

Thanks to NYSC, I eventually moved beyond the south-western borders. Presently, I am in the south-south region. 

I camped in Issele-Uku Delta State, and on the last day of camp, I went with the bus arranged by the Nigeria Christian Corpers' Fellowship (NCCF), Oghara Zone. 

The journey was stressful and long one. Passing through Benin, Edo State from Issele -Uku in order to reach Oghara town sparked curiosity. 

I temporarily resided with the NCCF Oghara family before moving to my primary place of assignment.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmTS7KWGYa7SZzPoYoMriUBmmSxy8mkxbdTjkFUrWHWavk/20241030_105432_258_1_1.jpg 
Image is mine


During my first week in Oghara, I noticed a pretty good number of shops had a brown keg sitting on a table in front of them.

This made me so curious because I am not used to seeing these where I came from and yes, I got answers to my curiosity; the keg contains petrol for sale.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmSnLxYAtzvmQrBBiFnAEisiQnNXvoWVWNSrc24Tc3nbQU/20240830_161339_1.jpg 
Image is mine
 

In Oghara, oil business (black market) is a common and normal business. From what I have seen, heard, and researched, Oghara is a town blessed with crude oil. 

It is one of the major oil-producing regions in Nigeria. I had seen different oil companies such as Rain Oil, Cybernetics, Dutchess Energy, and NEPAL there in Oghara town. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmf6SvKsFBw2ZManahUX6hiyNMpoNzg39dR3wY7tbzzMcq/InCollage_20241030_164547080.jpg 
Image is mine


There is a high prevalence of the oil business (black market) courtesy of the town being an oil producing town and a home to several oil producing companies.

Whenever you go to Oghara town and see a vast number of shops with brown kegs in front of them, don't be surprised; oil business (black market) is a norm, and like I said earlier, it's all courtesy of Oghara being a land flowing with oil.

During my stay in Oghara, it rained consecutively for weeks. I honestly didn't like it when it rained there in Oghara. 

Whenever it rains, everywhere becomes swampy and waterlogged, deep portholes are filled with water, and roads, especially the untarred ones, become so messy and irritating. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmWbXqgaywm2tcPcigXWzZhXY4qp8yi9B9Xuo9PwNnj17Y/InCollage_20241030_103741031.jpg 
Image is mine

One thing I noticed in that part of Oghara I was is that there are no drainages. Houses, shops, and churches are built without gutters or drainages. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmNsHF9Wswqzb1zmc1dwPhUYHTNc8MKshSnd4uVmM1UXDg/InCollage_20241030_164850288.jpg 
Image is mine

Although I came across some gutters, they were already filled up with sand and blocked up with debris, and these are all due to lack of maintenance.

Drainages and gutters should be constructed and properly maintained, as this will help redirect water flow so as to prevent erosion and flooding. 

Also, it will prevent slippery roads, reducing the occurrence of accidents and injuries.

I felt pity for cars, motorcycles, tricycles, and other means of transportation that passed these water-filled potholed roads and swampy bumpy untarred roads. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmXwoxwLQR8EpxrrWjKbPnMkDfKbzcLXW8YAHbJpjFEgwS/20240830_161821_2.jpg 
Image is mine

*"You're hurting these innocent things!"* only if these things could just talk and express themselves out!

One day, I was walking down a street, and I saw a building. It looked like a closed-down boutique shop. 

In fact, what came to my mind the first day I saw the building was, *"Ahnahn, why is this fine boutique building closed down?"* 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmWNfr17ccKCfiUWLBFnJJGTZiUsmZi6w8KXXGwhuHnzBq/InCollage_20241030_101923727.jpg 
Image is mine

Next time I passed that street, I went with a fellow corper, and she pointed at the 'closed down boutique building' and said, *"That's a burial ground o."* 

I was wowed—literally my first time seeing a housed burial ground as I am not familiar with seeing housed burial grounds in the southwest region.

https://img.inleo.io/DQmRLZaidY1jKV9WDSVkL1JXiitQYUjeRDTL9wsho6k1rWK/InCollage_20241030_112724709.jpg 
Image is mine

Aside the *"close down boutique building,"* I came across other burial grounds too.

All through growing up and living in the southwest region, I have never come across a broom like this. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmcc41PPRDDk2KBn3CCQyzfsPdq6yDebEfjjpcCnYu4r1X/InCollage_20241030_102230209_2.jpg 
Image is mine

There in Oghara, I have seen the broom used for sweeping outside and removing cobwebs.

This broom is not the regular broom we use in the southwestern region. The broomsticks are thicker and stronger than normal broomsticks. In addition, the broom has a long stick stuck in it.

This broom is made in such a way that you don't have to bend and hurt your back when you sweep. 

Oh, by the way, you might want to have this in your house.

Bicycles are a usual means of transportation there in Oghara. I have seen quite a number of bicycles used as a means of transportation. 

I have seen old women carry farm produce, and firewood using bicycles.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmUGqb7iw8mt95nxkVVQ92VN8MuYM2X9uz1C28PzsKeC4e/InCollage_20241030_102710691.jpg 
Image is mine


One thing that amazes me about these old women is that they cycle on the bicycle so well, even with loads on their bicycles. 

Males, most especially young boys, ride bicycles too. I never come across men ride the bicycle.

When I got to Oghara, I saw quite a number of women and ladies riding motorcycles. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmQJFik7m3fsLf79BbWsJxRHyMqsxa1iaWC3ZPSVHiHdKm/InCollage_20241030_101722838_1.jpg 

Image is mine

It is not that I don't see women or ladies riding motorcycles in the southwest, but it isn't as common as there in Oghara. 

In Oghara, I have seen women ride lady bikes; some would carry their children on the bikes, some use it to carry their products for sale and apparently, for transportation.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmNkvEuAX6MPgp9QT4xWkXa85XeEqvFndYMY1zonhJAyyW/20240830_161406_1_1.jpg 
Image is mine



It was pretty dark when I first entered Oghara town. The next day I was outside, and I noticed the sand they used in building construction. 

It was not the usual colour of sand I do see in the part of the southwestern region I have been. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmdrDiaQucHodi5L4gTJoSxy3PU4Kb4ZWLdscDkLrpYWpQ/InCollage_20241030_103117683.jpg 
Image is mine

I noticed the colour of the sand used as building construction here is white in colour. The sand is just like beach sand .

I had a glance at the Ethiope River in Oghara. Oh my God! The river is so wide and long. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmTi5N3NtY7HuLjZN9aPjD1B5M8iH23dYqopZXAvsZzogj/InCollage_20241031_005009793.jpg 
Image is mine

Most oil companies I saw were built close to the Ethiope River. I learned that the Ethiope River is a route through which ships pass mainly to transport oil to the oil companies. 

Also, I have seen people use boats to travel on the Ethiope River.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmPM1Xw4aEoDPVvJNfZXeBFGR7mK9ZrZmHFALWWTVmQi3q/InCollage_20241031_005212113.jpg 
Image is mine

I never wanted to travel beyond the Southwest for my NYSC, honestly, but I'm thankful NYSC didn't allow me. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmNWaRLaBS7AHToMpBLsTKkb1oQnx6Gi2Y5uwpavMMmuiu/20241027_072712_823.jpeg 
Image is mine

So far, being in the south-south has been an adventure for me. I anticipate seeing more fascinating and adventurous things.

Stay tuned for my next adventure. In the meantime, check out how [my NYSC journey began.](https://peakd.com/hive-11060/@justmayowa/my-nysc-journey-so-far)

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I'd like to extend my heartfelt thanks to you for taking the time to read this.🌺 💕
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All images are mine except stated otherwise.

Hive Naija

My South-South Adventure: Discovering Oghara

***The Big Heart***

My longest journey ever as a human being! Though, I might have gone farther than this as an other creature in my previous life.



![VID-20240627-WA0007_00:01.226.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/243zdWR7opNKZb5RPpnZ6Lnnw62ZXLvrnp3TkYSPC6xtC7xk16GrQ5aBBU3uZq1SafgEf.png)
Image is mine

My friend and I fantasized about where we initially wished to serve, but thanks to NYSC(National Youth Service Corps), our fantasies didn't come to reality. We were thrown apart.

*"Delta is still fair; it's okay; it's like this and that; the place is not far; the place is..."* (You know all those types of indirect consoling statements, right?).

Well, even before I saw my call up letter, I've always told myself, *"All things work together for my good."* Anyways, thank God I wasn't thrown to Taraba.

Let's not talk about the transport fare because when I heard the price, the next thing I could just utter was *"Jesus, please send me money."*

The journey was pretty okay, just that I've never sat down that long for a journey. Well, there's always a first time to everything. I was beaten mercilessly by rain, though.

Welcome to Delta, The Big Heart.



***Is Your Name In This Book of Life?***

> *...Only those names I find written in this book of life will forever be in paradise.
Is your name in this book of life?
Think about it...*

Who else remembers Book of Life by Nathaniel Bassey?

On reaching camp, one is to go for necessary registration and documentation. I went for my registration. 

Registration is in stages; getting my NYSC Kit was part of my registration. I got my 'white and white' kit. (Scroll a little and see how fine I am!)

Fine readers, I got my khaki, also known as seven over seven. This khaki and me can be compared to a pin thrown inside a sack of beans when I got it.

![IMG_4153.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23xpCnJ2Zcn8osCzqYP9Ct7ESgk1GQxfFtJMCniArARw7uQJnrzNar1o38Rcc6Z9SwodJ.jpeg)
Image is mine

Just like the way your name must be in the biblical Book of Life when we are all raptured is also the same way your name must be in the NYSC's Book of Life.

Participating in all church activities, even being a pastor, doesn't automatically make your name be in the book of life.

Exactly how NYSC works too. Participating in all NYSC activities without filling out your name in the Book of Life is just a waste of effort.




Out of the stages of registration, registering in the Book of Life was the most stressful part for me. It took me over 3 hours before I could get it done. At some point, I started queuing all over from the back again.

 https://img.inleo.io/DQmTr8Ne9tLaxoxm1MKKeUzRXNXhTDzCUqF7HUYSeXjT2Fj/20240818_013738_827_1.jpg 


Image is mine



Glory be to Jesus, I was able to fill in my details in the Book of Life, although at some point I already gave up. I almost decided to just come back some other time for it, but later on, I used determination to wait it out. 

It took me a lot of perseverance this blessed day to wait back and fill in my details in the book of life.

***A Sack of Beans***

Raise your hands if you dislike going through the stress of slim fitting and adjusting your clothes.


When I first got my Khaki and wore it, I was lost in it; I was like a pin thrown in a sack of beans. You remember I made mention of it, right?

Because of going through the stress of having to wear and re-wear for a perfect taste of size, I took one of my trousers along from home.
![IMG_1869.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23zbKYBEbQMbQuRjPnGYk6fNTBzMCyBaXjg7r343zS3dUf56pCom1saSikaL27cVsXg97.jpeg)
Image is mine

On reaching where I had adjusted my khaki trouser, I brought out my trouser and told the tailor to just use the exact measurements of the trouser I brought from home to adjust my khaki trouser, and here it is.

That reminds me that later, after swearing in, I realized one leg was longer than the other, but it wasn't that obvious.

***Sun or Rain***

Will you prefer to walk under the sun or under the rain? You can't use an umbrella, a sunscreen, a raincoat, or any protection just yourself or your body.

*"Mayowa, when are you going for service? Mayowa, are you not going with this batch? I thought you were serving. Mayowa, did you have FNG (not stigmatizing this, please), Mayowa?"*

I got a lot of questions or statements relating to this, I mean a lot.

I'm grateful to God for giving me this opportunity. I got sweared in as a Corper (can I hear you say chee? Thanks). 

 https://img.inleo.io/DQmYqfhczSrpqhxGXUwi9EjX4zP2wxaTVW21m7t7wLM1dhH/IMG_1829_1.jpg 
Image is mine


Just like the NYSC anthem is being sung, I obeyed the clarion call and will continue to lift the nation high, under the sun or in the rain, with dedication and selflessness. Nigeria is mine, Nigeria I serve. At last!


***Celebrate Your Little Wins***
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmT84Za8r5hXWhtWiDmvs9bs6ajMwVp9XemNXBaY73FDVd/20240712_050431_458_1.jpg 
Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)


I lamented about my platoon and told a platoon member, *"I'm close to saying I regret being in Platoon 6."*


Lol, I must have said that because we've never gotten the first position and probably out of discouragement.

I must not have thought it well when I spoke about my regret because, looking back at competitions we've been participating in so far, we've never gotten the last position. 


Fine readers, I was extremely excited! My platoon came in second in drama, third in football, and fourth in parade. 

 https://img.inleo.io/DQmVZ8RGHVuPDGAtviVxRFLdhFf55cThNUnXdM5CAaZqK5r/20240711_221027_191.jpeg
 Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)


It was just like a spirit of zeal came upon us, and we started acting extraordinarily.

I took my regretful words back. Even though camp's ended, I love my platoon, and I'm proud to be a platoon 6 member!

Platoon 6, winning forever! 


***The Fulani Culture***
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmNsYP7khwRn8mQAKdzRVTA5q5g5hWFWXoo2wjuCWAi2bj/20240818_000135_528.jpeg 
Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)



I'll never forget the experiences I had on carnival day at NYSC camp.

This day started with a heavy rainfall, it rained for hours before it eventually stopped. 

Before the carnival day, my platoon chose Fulani/Hausa culture, which means we were meant to portray how the culture is. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmePjEJyGLSiiETMgZHzgAtP3dXeHcx4xuRNoYs5XRdYWL/20240713_212445_386.jpeg 
Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)

 

In preparation for the carnival, we practiced and rehearsed. I was among the Fulani ladies.

On the carnival day, we were all given our costumes to wear. You should see me in my costume that day.
 
https://img.inleo.io/DQmeUmNFGT5sTMoW4gPG8bqeXPmekj3MKbhPnP4yuKNqa1L/20240714_214716_305.jpeg 
Image is mine

I typically looked like a Fulani lady—a beautiful one! Oh, by the way, call me Fatima, because I'm filled with abundance!

Hahaha, I laughed so hard when I saw two of my platoon members were used to act a cow; it almost looked so real. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmeGNpniHzujvzA6bgbMq2sEWjngX8RmhcfnpTVXHmrUEt/Screenshot_2024-08-08-01-26-20.jpg 
Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)


Other platoons had different cultures with different costumes too, and this made the day colorful. 

There were games like fill in the bottle, egg race, and so on. I so much enjoyed the excitement, joy, and energy shared that day.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmWfy1pbhKNzie8BY6RKJ91QTdpTxZLxBMh23qRhU5WMvH/20240713_230950_337.jpeg 
Image credit: 6 platoon, NYSC, Delta(used with permission)

***Out of Camp.***

If you ask me if I miss camp, I'll say yasssss!

Not gonna lie, I enjoyed camp. I met and interacted with people, people from different tribes. 
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmSLbabCZiDdtaZokuAm2GB4NV1x7nBjFXEdeTSwjJyt4J/IMG_1893.jpg 
Image is mine


Did I meet my levelmate? Nah, but I met my schoolmates.

I never missed morning meditations, but my platoon leader marked me absent one day. I must have been so little for him not to see that I was present that day.


I was punished by soldiers. I did walking with one leg, then up and down.

I had a crush on someone, but the crush feeling wasn't too solid; the feeling didn't stay; I maintained my composure!


Fine readers, I slept in Skill Acquisition and Entrepreneurship Development (SAED) lectures; don't bother to negotiate the price of bread.



I actively participated in activities. I wrote my platoon morning meditation titled: Endurance, the Power to Persist. 

I was among the paraders. Also, for the carnival, I was among the Fulani/Hausa dancers.

I misplaced my water bottle; tell me sorry.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmPai97iR2YFhDhLsVN1RA6pP9SNr1GdxgY54DcbFbne5j/IMG-20231102-WA0025.jpg 
Image is mine

On the last day at camp, I was served breakfast. I was heartbroken. I wasn't heartbroken by a guy this time around; it was NYSC. 

I applied for my relocation, but it didn't work out. After getting my Primary Place of Assignment (PPA) letter, I tried holding my tears back. 

The tears struggled to remain in my eyeballs' sockets, but it reached a particular point; they couldn't hold it in again. They burst and flowed out of my eyes.

On the last day of camp, everyone is to leave the camp. The Nigeria Christian Corper Fellowship (NCCF) had already made arrangements for any Corper who wished to go through them.

The arrangements covered transport fares and accommodation. One just has to pay a token.

I went through NCCF that day. Oh God, the journey was too long for an intra-state journey. I learned that the driver had to pass a longer route because of bad roads.

We were taken to the NCCF family's house. There were laid down rules and regulations of the house; they are mandatory only if you don't want to stay in the house. These rules are actually made to keep everyone in check.
 https://img.inleo.io/DQmdWxSRTazXvt56LqpLfaXiwkAgJza5sWFuU6NsLMieSHh/IMG_20240811_114913.jpg 
Image is mine

To be honest, being in the family house was like "camp pro max" to me at first, but I just had to adapt. Along the line, I started getting used to the system. I am used to it now. The people here are lovely to live with.

***Ready to Serve!***

Remember, PPA means Primary Place of Assignment. My PPA is a school. When I saw my letter, I was devastated. I do not want to teach.

The fact that my PPA's located in a far place was displeasing to my heart, although my PPA provided conducive accommodation. That was consolation for me.

https://img.inleo.io/DQmX8DixDMC326WJ7mTVAk5N7i8bFd9hiiBrmH37a6GogrJ/Snapchat-1732039103_1.jpg 
Image is mine


I accepted my fate of serving as a teacher. I'm ready to serve my country; it's just for a year, and I'm hoping to make the best part of it.

Fine readers, wish me good luck on this ongoing journey.

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Thanks for taking out of your dear time to read this, thanks for stopping by🌹.

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All images are mine except stated otherwise.

My NYSC Journey So Far

Verified | Engagement Team 💭

<div class="text-justify">

Sometimes, it's hard to describe how the last year was for me. Indeed, it was an opportunity to experience new places and meet new people, but the events didn't unfold as I had anticipated. And it all makes me wonder what could have been a little different if I could have helped.

![1718279527924.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23wC7wguz5uiipp756KqhFdAJ9SCuCwSkwnPZGCAwECUhQBPDuHrquhm666ZkeK5s34NP.jpg)

I was perplexed about the idea of leaving for a year for national service. It was going to displace me, and I wasn't exactly comfortable with that thought, especially that I'd be somewhere I didn't know anything about. And then, just a few days before, I learnt I was supposed to travel a 12-hour journey to Rivers State for service. My perplexity tripled.

I had zero idea what it was going to be like in Rivers State. I had no family or friends there. I was just going to go directly to the orientation camp. And then I had to hastily prepare to travel and get on a bus. Eventually, I got to camp at midnight.

I totally loved being at camp. I barely got enough sleep most times, but I had a thrilling experience. And the idea of being with total strangers and wearing the same thing as everybody brought some form of equality amongst us. It was the shortest and longest three weeks of my life. So much happened in such a short time.

![IMG_20230715_162537.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eoa258UZ8VMfroBeyT7hsFoyHmpGVxJNHAoNWipLj4ogYeyjHAcsg67PqkCRZeKHgTH.jpg)

The real experience started when I was posted somewhere different from what I hoped for. I had no idea what where I would spend the next year felt like, but the more discouraging fact was that I was going to teach in a school. You should have seen the vexation on my face.

Soon enough, I made peace with being a teacher rather than a graduate engineer for real at an oil company or something. What I had in mind was where I'd lay my head.

In the last year in Rivers State, I lived in different rooms and with different people, all of which happened abruptly. And it was all because corpers, for whatever reason, don't actually have government-provided accommodation. For most of my time, I was uncomfortable.

![IMG_20230918_112917.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EptbUsANrcjYMmVe3SKd85itPNLummLy4kbUFR4N54WuTtbBgdXneZvUPWdYRYcwQVa.jpg)

It was, however, very interesting to eventually live in a big compound with people in my age group. It was far more thrilling and entertaining to be with my fellow corpers. There were laughs, parties, fights, make-up and break-ups, and pretty much everything in between. The sad thing was that we had to join the community in their problems with electricity and security.

Back at my place of primary assignment, it was another experience. It was in this one year that I realised that I really do not enjoy teaching secondary school students. I wonder if anyone really does. Perhaps it's because I was hardly paid anything for my work there. To them, I was already being paid by the government.

The government, on the other hand, was giving me monthly allowances that could only last me for two weeks on feeding.

![IMG_20240115_131647.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23w2q1zNKw8qGJXJvwEsuRhdRc2DnQVRnDHFvjE6UE1hUr5sP87hpwKptAdDE1DMgajQp.jpg)

Why then go through all of that for national service? I wonder sometimes. Well, apparently, the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) programme main goal is to foster unity in the country. They do this by deploying youth corpers to different states of the country to interact with other tribes and people.

I am not sure about other people, but I believe that goal has been achieved to some degree. I say this because I knew nothing much about other tribes or even cared much to see what their cultures were like.

Being a Yoruba man and spending all my life in the west, I had much enlightenment about tribes I didn't even know existed, learnt that there are way more dialects than there are even languages in Nigeria, and tasted foods of different forms. It was an exciting experience, despite how much I missed where I was from and the foods I was used to.

![IMG_5673.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoptwyoMhRXt5cmPkgEmeSUTigtA1HAa9cjAaRs4UVDHP9oGffPrwi3p1z6aupPp8ov.jpg)

Language isn't much of a strength for me, but I could at least learn what certain languages sound like and where they're from. Nigerians may sound all the same to foreigners, but we sure as heaven sound different with our many tribe accents.

It was in the south-south region that I first heard something like, "You sound like a Yoruba man."

All of that gave me a wider scope of what my country truly is like in some places; what other people from other tribes think of my tribe as well—like how Yoruba people tend to always spice up all their foods.

![IMG_5674.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eos1PuVGLrQZfBDJT7SoPqJLz5euboqzLqGJLHwNPVc57VSeMLneTjrk5euUZoDMkEP.jpg)

So do I think that NYSC is still worth it? Totally. You just don't want to keep your hopes high. Would I change anything about my experience in the last year if I could? Well, not really. Every good and bad thing and everything in between that happened to me taught me something, and it all helped me become better. As for the monthly allowance, they really should triple it. The economy isn't smiling.
</div>

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Image credits: Olujay Posted Using [InLeo Alpha](https://inleo.io/@olujay/everyone-should-actually-serve-their-country-somehow-6ax)

Hive Learners

everyone should actually serve their country, somehow

<div class="text-justify">

 <center>https://img.inleo.io/DQmVPPSMxpwVxg1nrfxGLe2Q1BtuQiAZtu6kzmL72NYxKmC/IMG_7154.jpeg</center>
*Image is mine*

I think the one time I was compared so much to anyone was in my Teenage years. I was already struggling with a facial condition that did numbers on my self esteem. It did not help that I was in the choir of a church where all the members seemed to do was remind me of my failures. 

As a young girl, I joined a choir in a church I attended back then. Quite right, I was still very young and immature but that’s the point. I was only 12. Of course I was immature. I did not see it that way then and believed that I was more stupid than I was immature. I was senseless and acted like a hooligan. I was always compared to the other girls. 

*Divine, your mates won’t do this*

*Your mates won’t do that. At your age…*

Just rubbish talk! Makes my blood boil now that I think about how these people really made me look down on myself for acting my age. What 12 year old is supposed to think mature? I was quite loud, very energetic and buzzy. All this I would be told were flaws and I should act like this person or that person.

That was in Church. It wasn’t so different in school where my teachers would insult me for being too open with my thoughts and failing to realize when I should not say anything at all. How was I supposed to know that? 

Anyway, before I go into a full blown rant, I’d say I have only experienced the negative parts of comparison. While I know that there is the other part of it that can lead to healthy competition and self improvement, I did not experience it until my later years.

One good thing is that my mom never compared me to anyone. She never asked me to behave like A or think like B, she would correct me and nothing more. She might get scathing with her words but she has never compared me to anyone. And for that I am grateful. It wasn’t the same outside though especially in church.

I loved to sing and joined the choir but then I would freeze in front of the crowd and sing rubbish. It’s like my brain would just stop working. 

I would never hear the end of it from the fellow members. I couldn’t raise my head high as far as they were concerned and the star singer was always a point of reference to my *lack of talent*. Not to mention she was beautiful. Tall, slender, soft spoken with a quiet temperament. She was everything I wanted to be back then. And I tried so hard. I tried to be her. 

 <center>https://img.inleo.io/DQmW3zFM2moBCxcRZpi352PEMhiXEXfFAeVp27GwQB51Z9q/10a860e5-80a2-4869-9cb2-bceb7cd1d00a.jpeg</center>
*Image credit: DIGC Kaduna (used with permission)*

I spoke less, refused to express myself, practiced in my room for hours till my voice cracked, yet, there was nothing I could do about my face. Hers was baby smooth, mine was…well, the map of Cameroon. I couldn’t see myself as beautiful no matter how hard I tried and that just killed whatever confidence I had. 

But fast forward to years later, I’m in a church where I’m not in the choir because I was scarred for life. I heard the choir sing and realised that while I did a few things wrong, I was not as terrible as these people made me think I was. I made mistakes and that was it. 

Honestly, comparison kills. I finally understood how to channel my emotions from comparing to improving. When I meet someone who seems to have it better than I do, I don’t immediately beat myself down anymore. Rather, I try to look into their blueprints and find why it is so especially if we are in the same field or group. 

Since I began to do this, I discovered that most of these people always have some form of support or something. They can focus on school without worries because Mom and Dad would make sure of it. They can focus on growing their side hustle because they don’t have to worry about rent, food or even tuition. 

 <center>https://img.inleo.io/DQmehn2HKktHxfupoizajNPNBJgaz1K6etnkcnEWSzuzRRj/IMG_4357.jpeg</center>
*Image is mine*

It’s not the same for me. I came up with nothing and almost zero support. Everything I am now, everything I have, I worked for with sweat and tears (and God on my side). So comparing myself to anyone is nothing but a waste of time.

Yes I might doubt my abilities sometimes but I don’t ever make the mistake (anymore) of thinking someone is better or more prettier or more desirable. 

I am me and that’s all that matters. The way I see me, I learned, is the way the world will see me. Plus, I say it again, no one can think, act or speak like I do. You can’t be me no matter how you try because we were created with different unique qualities. 

And a shout out to my Mother who never once compared me to anyone. She taught me never to do that with my children.

In conclusion, comparing yourself to anyone is all a waste of time. All you’d do is get angry either at yourself or at the world. For a healthier and more purposeful life, live as you. Don’t try to be anyone else. You’re perfect as you. 

***

<center> This is my entry to the [13th Day of the August INLEO](https://inleo.io/threads/view/leogrowth/re-leothreads-2jg5dxgll) monthly initiative in the [Emotions & Feelings Community](https://inleo.io/communities/hive-102879?tab=created).

![IMG_0306.gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/deraaa/Enym4ewUnQwRHAfSWHwKbyCuH7kjmXNJuEyhNHgewby7hLp1NAUi2msFYJVi3fh8c57.gif)


</div>

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Emotions & Feelings

You Can’t Compare…

*It is with so much sadness in our hearts that we announce the demise of Miss Mayowa Oyetunde, who died on 20th of March, 2022.*
![photo-1489101960932-eb71762e6bc8.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23t6zsk2MjBWwvPYwa286agnHWGoHjLTno8emyf5TyM5eSfoU7fHtivyzHzV1y6caMSe1.jpeg)

It all started when I was in my final year; we all resumed back from the 300-level second semester. My department had called us to resume back to school after our six months of industrial training(I.T).

It was more like an impromptu call. For some students, they weren't ready, especially when it comes to the financial aspect. 

For some, they were all eager to resume back to school. Some students were already in school even before we were being called to resume. I was among the ones that weren't ready.

Ready or not, everyone had to be in school in preparation for our industrial training defense we were going to present five days after we were called to resume back to school.

They say the final year comes with a lot of spending, overwhelming stress, unexpected bills, and unending payments. If I will be honest with you, that is just the truth.

So, just in case you are not yet a finalist, or are you soon to be one? Get your mind prepared, your body and soul braced with endurance, perseverance, belief, and prayers. Don't worry, you will definitely scale through.

My final year first semester was a rough one. I experienced a challenging phase. It was not easy having to study and engage in all academic activities.

Who wishes for a FNG (final year not graduating)? No one! FNG does not care if you are going through a challenging phase or not. It is no respecter of how you feel.

FNG will only transact business with you if you end up having carry-over(s). I was scared, frustrated, and tired. The strength remaining in me was -5%. I say again, it wasn't easy for me. I would always pray to God to always help me.

It reached a point; I could not contain it anymore. It became unbearable, but I was still maintaining the "everything is okay" look.

One day, I went visiting a senior friend of mine at her place. I blurted out and told her what was on my mind. I expressed my feelings to her; I told her my pains and ended my groanings with committing suicide.

I honestly do not know if I meant the statement of being suicidal or not that day. All I knew was that I was extremely frustrated.

After expressing out, I was expecting her to console and encourage me, but to my surprise, I got the shocking response of my life.

**The Painful Truth**
She laughed and said, *"Oh, that's fine. You feel like dying, right? Very good, but before you commit suicide, please write out an obituary for yourself and send it to me as a document through Whatsapp.*

![photo-1649615318499-c888057747fe.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/EpA229454KkwDrUjKJcPKrkepT2sZo1NUnpJrR3ypDd9R4MMCaxoiVGoBcL5v81WJRx.jpeg)

I stared at her for some minutes, speechless. She continued, *"That reminds me, You write now, very good. So just write out the obituary for yourself; make sure it has in it your date of death, what you have achieved in this life, how you have impacted lives, and how well-known you are."*

She hugged me and said in my ears, *"If you commit suicide and end up dying, I will definitely mourn you, but that will never stop me from continuing life and aiming to achieve great things."*

*"I feel for your family in advance; it is so pitiful you are going to bring so many grievances to them."* She patted my back, stood up, went to sit on another seat, and started pressing her phone. It all felt like I was advised to go on killing myself and, at the same time, threatened to stay alive.

On getting to my hostel, I reminisced on the words that were said to me. I went to the reading table, removed a page from one of my printed lecture notes, and picked up my pen.

I went online and Google searched for what an obituary looked like. After checking through, I began writing on the blank side of the A4 paper:

*It is with so much sadness in our hearts that we announce the demise of Miss Mayowa Oyetunde, who died on the 20th of March, 2022...*

I paused writing and started thinking of what to write next. I pondered what I had achieved, how my life had had an impact on others, and how well known I was.

I had nothing to write on. No impacts; nobody knew me. *"I'll just die like that? Ah.* I muttered to myself. It was crazy.

I took the A4 paper, tore it into pieces, and went to throw it into the dustbin outside. On getting inside, I had an entire change in thoughts.

I went to the table, removed another page of my lecture notes, and began writing on the blank side of the paper again:

*Celebration of Life.*

*It is with heavy hearts we mourn the passing on of a great icon, Mrs. Mayowa (my husband's name), nee Oyetunde, who died on 6th October, 2100.*

*During her life, Mayowa has been a woman of great impact to her family and also to the society. She touched lives through...*

I kept on writing. I wrote about things I wished to have achieved before my demise—a lot of impacts and accomplishments I hoped to have made before my death.
*Mayowa will be greatly missed; her impacts on her family and the society at large will always leave a long-lasting memory.*

I ended. I typed it and sent it to my senior friend. I explained to her everything that happened to me. She went on, encouraged me, and made me see reasons to live.

Ever since then, I had a complete change of thoughts. There was no single reason to be suicidal anymore. There was always a reason to stay alive, no matter what situation or circumstance I found myself in.

---

This post is in response to the #Hivenaija Weekly Prompt, Edition 59.

Thank you for taking out of your precious time to read this, and I hope you learn one or more lessons from this❤️.

---

A red lit candle photo by [David Monje](https://unsplash.com/@davidmonje)

A bunch of flowers sitting on top of a car photo by [Strauss Western](https://unsplash.com/@streuselhaus)

Celebration of Life

<div class="text-justify">

She is a disciplinarian. Although she is mostly softer nowadays, she still doesn't tolerate nonsense. And she displayed that yet again to my niece and nephew. Such a heated moment for those two, and I felt for them. Having her as a mother, I surely knew how they were feeling in that moment. I showed up later and had a talk with them.

![IMG_20240107_001144.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23u5tiY5i4s58Mf4Y5Wyj1N2toraaVPqCiSMsLT6QAuZF3vZijNLYgRcxuXp9xSM1Ua1U.jpg)

You see, my mother is at the same time a very sweet and loving person, as she can be strict. She has largely contributed to the kind of person I am now, as well as my brother, and many people have commended her for having given us good home training. Growing up with her and under her wings, however, wasn't exactly the chillest experience.

I have wanted to run away from home a few times before. I thought I didn't actually belong to my parents and that I just got delivered to their doorstep in a box. I surely didn't see her as Mom when she whipped my ass, reprimanding me for doing the things I should have.

I was much younger, and I really never understood much of her teacher or ways of passing them. It is now that I am much older that I see her much more clearly and appreciate her in every way possible.

I mean, I don't mean to paint the image that I get flogged every morning, if that's what you're imagining. It's just that, as a typical African child, you get certain reactions when you do the wrong things.

Hearing how my nephew and niece were scolded for "doing the right thing at the wrong time," I felt for them and remembered how I'd felt as a child.

My mom always pulls you in with the left arm when she reprimands you with the right, but usually much later. In the moment that she was away, after being scolded, I went on to talk with my niece and nephew. It is pretty much my responsibility at this age to do so for them, especially now that my mom's much older.

![IMG_20230606_195605.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/AJL3keEnso6CZDb6UuXqzTvPg7DC4bz1HBFWeqzCrUjaUrzWVCtxBQbcLbaJ6Z7.jpg)

My aim was to enlighten them on how life truly is, how to deal with criticism on their level, and the importance of being "taught right." And, of course, lighten their moods to encourage them to work cheerfully rather than begrudgingly, which is awfully exhausting.

I started with an analogy of the seasons we have here in Africa. I described to them how you sometimes wished for the rain when it's hot and sunny and then wished for the sun when it's all too cold and the roads are too muddy too often in the rainy season. And then she explained how that represents how life doesn't always go as we want, but we somehow have to navigate it to thrive.

I showed them how important it is to be corrected when you're doing something wrong by describing how favoured one can be when they have good manners and exhibit discipline and character. I used personal anecdotes about myself to lighten their moods at this point. I can be a hilarious person when I want to be.

And I let them know that I knew that they could have already thought of running away a few times when they get harshly reprimanded sometimes. I made them understand that it's normal to feel sad when being criticised, but they have to see what's most important about it—the lesson.

Soon enough, their faces brightened up. They understood my message and felt much better. And then, like magic, they continued their chores with a little more enthusiasm.

I don't exactly know what parenting truly feels like, but I believe that effective communication is important in any relationship, even with kids. I learnt this from my mother, the disciplinarian, as she always ensured we truly understood her actions towards us and that they were always out of love.

And to top it all up, I gave them extra TV privileges to keep them happy. Surely, some more episodes of Henry Danger should do the trick. I know I loved how those sitcoms made me feel when I was their age. Good old times...
</div>

---

All images are mine

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ThoughtfulDailyPost

Tough Love and Tender Lessons

Community Portal

<div class="text-justify">

https://i.imgur.com/W7MY0X3.jpg 

 

WaZoBia!

Welcome to a new edition of the Hive Naija Weekly Prompts. This initiative is one of our activities to explore our creativity and foster connections amongst ourselves.

Whether you're a seasoned creator or just discovering the joy of expressing your thoughts, these prompts are crafted to inspire and ignite your creativity, as well as interact with the creativity of others in the community.

https://i.imgur.com/sT6kaWP.png 

### Last Edition's Winners:

**What a blast this week! We had 45 of you share beautiful memories and heartfelt response with us!** We appreciate every participant for taking giant strides to expand their minds with the last edition's prompts. Many were as beautiful as they came. And there are a few that we want to showcase for their exceptional entries and level of engagement in the community.

---

<center>🥇 **First Place**</center>

<center>[An Awesome Relationship without an Apology](https://inleo.io/@oluwatobiloba/an-awesome-relationship-without-an-apology--awn) by @oluwatobiloba 
</center>

*As a young girl, I wanted to do everything to please my parent, I wanted to be a good girl and make them happy with me, but nothing I did seemed ever to be good enough, my childhood was taken away, and the fun of making mistakes as a child was never permitted..*

---

<center>🥈 **Second Place**</center>

<center>[THE STRUGGLE TO APOLOGIZE AS ADULTS](https://inleo.io/@adoore-eu/the-struggle-to-apologize-as-adults-2aq) by @adoore-eu </center>

*Have you ever been accused, abused or chastised unjustly by someone older? When he finds you innocent of his claims, did he tender an apology? In some cultures, adults apologize even to little Babies, they treat them as fellow humans with feelings but in some other cultures, adults hardly apologize to younger ones. They are hardly wrong, even if it is glaring. Could it be inherent in them not to apologize or is it because of pride or ego?.*

---

<center>🥉 **Third Place**</center>

<center>[NIGERIA PARENTS AND EGO OF SAYING SORRY](https://inleo.io/@ebass/nigeria-parents-and-ego-of-saying-sorry-7pn) by @ebass </center>

*And then, after all of this, this woman came back to tell my parents that she was sorry about the whole thing. And explained to them that it was not my own Emmanuel. And that it was the other one. This day, I felt like just chewing the skin of this woman alive, honestly 🤧. Because I kept on asking myself why she literally did all of that to me..*

---

**Congratulations to these talented individuals for their outstanding contributions.** Now, we would like mention a few other entries that we deem exceptional.
 
<center>**Honourary Mentions**</center> 
 
- [Desired objects unexpected results](https://inleo.io/@soyunasantacruz/desired-objects-unexpected-results-cgs) ~ @soyunasantacruz 
 
- [My kind of importance](https://inleo.io/@jazclassic/my-kind-of-importance--2x6) ~ @jazclassic 
 
- [Make life simple...just apologize](https://inleo.io/@captainman/make-life-simplejust-apologize--dcz) ~ @captainman 

https://i.imgur.com/sT6kaWP.png

### This Week's Prompts:

📝 **Truth is indeed a bitter thing, and it hits differently when it touches our hearts. Has there been a time someone told you a painful truth about yourself? What was it, and how did it make you feel?**

📝 **Imagine a world where humans can't manufacture modern medicine again. How much can we survive on herbs, and do you think it's possible for us to depend 100% on herbs?**

### Guidelines:

- Pick a prompt, craft a masterpiece, and be unique with your title.
- Ensure your entry is at least **500 words**
- Use copyright-free images and properly source them; indicate if they belong to you.
- Use the tags `hn-wk59` `hivenaijaweekly` `neoxian`
- We suggest the [INLEO](https://inleo.io/threads) frontend to stand a chance to be curated by [leo.voter](https://peakd.com/@leo.voter). Learn how to [publish via InLeo](https://peakd.com/hive-11060/@olujay/navigating-inleo-your-ultimate-mobile-handbook#publishing) right [here](https://peakd.com/hive-11060/@olujay/navigating-inleo-your-ultimate-mobile-handbook#publishing).
- Publish into the Hive Naija community.
- Read other entries and leave comments if you want that too.
- Spread this post with a reblog. (It's not mandatory)

The community thrives on the diverse perspectives that contribute to its vibrancy. We look forward to your unique entries this week. Many thanks to the InLeo team for their immense support.

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Hive Naija Weekly Prompt | Edition 59

<div class="text-justify">

When she called and said these words to me, "I am genuinely happy for her, but I think I am jealous, and I do not know what to do,"  I was lost for words to say or what to do. I had never really thought about jealousy from my own perspective, let alone helping someone else over theirs. It was my friend, and I knew I had to do something soon enough, and then I plunged into deep reflections on myself.

https://img.inleo.io/DQmUtQjZkktFr5S9VeJ8T5BsKhZpGaa7oaWCxpmFZrwEdqz/image.png

Preaching to someone and not being a doer of your own word is inauthencity to me. To give genuine words of comfort and advice, it has to come from a place of honest introspection and without bias. To find the best ways to have the right conversation with my friend, I had to ask myself a very important question: "How would I navigate this feeling and let go of the pain of losing an opportunity if I was in this exact situation?"

I had to "get back to her" and ponder.

I put the feeling of jealousy before me and examined what it really meant, what I understood about it, and how I generally respond to that feeling when it comes. Then I pulled up my dictionary to revisit its actual meaning.

<center>**Jealous**: feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages.</center>

"Interesting!" I exclaimed as my eyes widen in realization of how to begin the discussion with my friend.

![IMG_20221208_100623.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Ep1UxWemJY1JFY7d8B9GMSJpUW9a6PVCRLBA6Arjmi7i2marvFveGhAP2GftUPxDFvS.jpg)

Knowing this friend of mine very well and having been through different situations together for years and having had deep conversations over and over, just as we were doing in this moment, I knew for sure that jealousy wasn't what she was feeling. The reality was that she was struggling to confront the loss of a potentially transformative job opportunity.

And every now and then, she was reminded of the benefits she was missing from someone else who had that job already. They were close, and my friend was genuinely happy for her, but it was an inexplicable feeling for her.

It could seem like a good idea to just ask the other person to tone it down a bit in talking about "the benefits" every now and then, but how then would she explain afterwards that it wasn't a display of jealousy? You can't control how people behave, but you can do something about how you respond. That made it an inside job. Her mindset.

You see, I had been in a situation where I had someone really close to me enjoy things that I wasn't able to at that time. We were really close, but the difference between us both was clear—to me, at least. I could have felt jealous, but I couldn't have it come between us. Instead, I thought to myself that it was only a glimpse of what I could experience if I also worked harder and kept steadfast.

![1716797450384.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoK4LkNPmjZDLAB1nvGKR5F8nvoEbqJjZeMU8aAw4oD8vL5wjxrjiz6eVJCznJEGbT2.jpg)

She had to confront the feeling. And then I suggested to her that she inquire more about the job from the other person. Rather than just the benefits alone, like she had always only heard about, I advised that she learn the details of the job.

I asked her to learn about what tools the other person uses regularly and then the challenges of the job. All of that would give her a sense of the qualities and skills she has and those that she doesn't. When she figures out how she can improve herself, she could increase her chances of securing the next job opportunity.

![IMG_20240323_104810.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EpVAdrydqHMsWXTthXyffmHAb4mYeuVm4mpNAwGtWX5VWnas3JpFSkNm31o5rw5rfTN.jpg)

For example, if the other person says that typing on the keyboard is a challenge because they aren't proficient at it, then it should be noted as a skill to learn as well. Or if the use of a foreign language is involved, it could be a good time to learn a new one or improve the one she's already learned.

And the cherry on the cake, I said to her, "If you can learn how to improve yourself by learning from this experience, you're setting yourself up to land way better deals that are coming in the future."

Like magic, she felt way, way better. She now understood what she was feeling and how to confront it. It was then easier to let go of the loss of that job opportunity and to look ahead to the better days ahead.

On the other hand, I learned something. The conversation was enlightening for me, and that's something about having such healthy conversations with people. Although I wasn't in the situation, I have now prepped myself for a time when I could feel the same way.

We win some and we lose some. And we learn.

</div>

---

All images are mine Posted Using [InLeo Alpha](https://inleo.io/@olujay/dancing-with-the-greeneyed-monster-kez)

The MINIMALIST

dancing with the green-eyed monster


![IMG-20200606-WA0017_1_1.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23uFMgfdnA6P3CEZFCyA1GdhfGyahYc5HCh8cQn3C7PZGgAPqC5LkjZYqWMYCEeYumffs.jpg)

Growing up as little ones, we all gave answers to the "what do you want to become in future?" question. 

*Uncle I want to become a pilot, mummy I want to become an engineer, daddy I want to become a banker, aunty I want to become a doctor*, we all replied. 

Lol, come to think of it, back then, the 'doctor, nurse, engineer, pilot and banker profession were the main professions kids gave answers to. 

Nowadays, schools now organize career days for their pupils. Oh my, you should see these fine children dressed in the career costumes of their choice. 

Various shades of beautiful kids dressed as doctors with their stethoscope on, lawyers with their wigs on, nurses with two different colours of pens in their chest pockets, *dayummmm*! Anyways, I didn't do career day during my time  as a kid.

As adolescents, we all fantasized and dreamt of the number of houses and mansions we intend to build, the type of spouse we intend to marry, the number of kids we intend to have and the number of cars we would have. 

Some of us did calculate and plan our ages. *By the time I am twenty, I would have finished university, by twenty-two I would have gotten a good job, before twenty-five, I would have married, before  thirty, I should have given birth to all my children, built a mansion and bought three cars.* Hahaha, little did we know.

![FB_IMG_17229699324952005.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/241thwWD5gxST7iwhJFt5ga9QnKva5iJKnfNbmzbr6n262tT1LQMAbwYPH2dAJTGq56Lo.jpg)


I gave *I want to become a doctor* answer. Reading Gifted Hands by Ben Carson and watching Korean medical movies fueled the passion. 

Reminds me of when I got promoted to senior secondary school class, we were told to join any department of our choice. 

There was the art department, commercial department or science department for each student to join. I chose the science department.

In fact, many students chose the science department compared to other departments although along the line, some couldn't cope being in the science department, they had to change to other departments.

On entering the senior secondary class, my parents bought me my school notebooks. I remember I wrote on the second pages of each new notebook statements or let me call them affirmations. 

Take for example, I wrote *I am a Whiz-Kid*, signed it as Dr. Oyetunde Mayowa after. Some of the affirmations even had the signature of Prof. Oyetunde Mayowa. 

When I got my lab coat, it fitted me perfectly! I would wear it around the house calling myself a doctor with so much enthusiasm. 

If you've gone through my introductory post, you must have seen that I said that I chose to study microbiology, so how come the transition from being a doctor to being a microbiologist? 

Oh well, I changed what I wanted to study when I was in senior secondary school two(SSS2). 
![FB_IMG_17229695479577893.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/244eR8J1LkrSC36U8KghEADv1K7FyxkVjR2QHKNL86ZVBkuwmMyQuxrtJDUxd7iR62Kz8.jpg)

I made myself understand my weaknesses and strengths. I knew I wasn't so good in Physics and Chemistry compared to Biology and since I came to the realization, this led to my decision to further into Biology my best science subject by choosing Microbiology.


As teens, most of us, if not all, anticipated to be eighteen, legal, free and an adult, little did we know. For some of us, we were still naive. For some, life has started happening to them. 

Eighteen comes with a lot of life packages I must say. Having to decide what perfect dress to wear, who to be our friends, owning up to decisions start coming into reality.

During this age range, most of us are done with secondary school, we wrote JAMB in order to get into the university. 

At the end, some got admission to study the course of their choice, some got admission but were not given the course of their choice, some had to wait another year(s) again to process their admission, some were not able to further their education. Well, I was graced to study my dream course in the university of my choice.

Now, some of us are twenty something, facing the reality of life, real adulthood. Some made and are still making lots of lemonades from the lemons life has been throwing at them. 

For some, some of the dreams had when little didn't go as planned as they were dreamt of. For some, their dreams came into reality. I have heard people stories, I have my story too. 

If I will be realistic, it is not easy. Some had changes in careers, dreams, life decisions and plans along the way. We or should I say some of us just want to be a better person and live comfortably in life.

![20240709_101257_693.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23xeos1J3dNX61PUKmXnSuBQFGNEk6ARYCX9iLg4gjQco16L1sA33waw3kE2T3ixT4ySZ.jpeg)


During COVID-19 lock down, I wrote down a 7-year plan in a book, what I intend to achieve in seven years from then and yes, this has been guiding me ever since then.

If I am to answer the "what do I want to become?" question now, I will answer "I want to do life big". 

To me, this response has a lot of 'becomings' in it. I want to be the best version of myself, I want to impact the world positively no matter the present position or the current situation I may find myself in. 

Having to do life big will always give me reasons to always do more, aspire for more, refusing to be what is called 'normal', never settling to be a mediocre, knowing I can achieve whatsoever and whatsoever I want to do or find myself doing will always revolve around doing life big

All images are mine


Do Life Big!

<div class"text-justify">

I could not afford a softbox around this time, but I really needed one. And so I made one myself. With a couple of videos from YouTube, I had a pretty good idea of how to do it. And here's how you can make one for just $1.

![1722724919417.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23wMUH9P6LcTV9CQ8zWSujo4nYzzSZZVDPdGwqZHtScGqmiHgmNUun8whTYXKzRpxWRXv.jpg)

Generally, what I needed was a box to put the light bulb in, a reflective interior for maximum light output, and a diffuser material to soften the light and make it even. To achieve all that, I used a couple of things I had around at home:

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23xerC162LVqyv1N6pEH8Za1YfzLbqFX7E2ABWMGFQP2c6tAe35KeC8DUZMpfbKouP1Z6.png)
<center>[*An actual softbox*](https://pixabay.com/photos/studio-chair-photography-lightning-4553847/)</center>

---

<div class="pull-left">

##### Materials

- Carton
- A roll of tin foil that cost me about $0.6
- Glue
- Sellotape
- White polythene bag
- 2.5mm wire
- White light bulb
- Lampholder
</div>

<div class="pull-right">

##### Tools

- One pair of scissors
- White board marker
- Long ruler
- Screwdriver
</div>

---

##### Steps:

The first thing I did was define the dimensions of the softbox on the cartons. And then I marked the areas I wanted to cut out.

|||
|-|-
|![IMG_20240801_150406.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23tmL4uY4cWhWMP2yPKrwAExQJUAGyo6udH1TkewHKZLENZ2fiwjhUAJZMA5JrQPccfrX.jpg) | ![IMG_20240801_151334.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23tvgNPYsnsNGg2ptFFJcD8EuoP16Vfw6vF1WrpLU1KZ8Phu1FyZjFvpy8WEcEoYXRUtC.jpg) | 

![IMG_20240801_151352.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23uQrWfTmTo2NpRd1BE3H8SRtmc7Fg6LHPCnQVnVgnTJafdpUJRjRwaFoP3Wctn1QVTm4.jpg)

![IMG_20240801_155635.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoiX8nQwsHkKYjrZ9Fuxypt1AbLe4nrWsXJ12wesg9iERP2DfAUDpZqMvVFdsjzXPAL.jpg)

I knew I wasn't going for a square type, so I had two different sets of dimensions for the top and bottom versus the right and left.

<div class="pull-right">

![IMG_20240801_162333.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eou7pJYkxVtnrkYiSZEZo2GreZr6ZaBsCRXhQvaEZHao2WM5bwUyBd4ZcKxjmK8Uje3.jpg)
</div>

After cutting out the sides with the scissors, I put them side-by-side on the floor to join them together. I didn't think sellotape would hold the sides together well enough, especially when I didn't have enough of it, so I had to improvise.

I cut out the cartons and formed them into L-shapes. They would serve as hinges for the edges of each side to make up the corners, on the inside and on the outside. And then I put glue on them to fix them in the right positions, mostly near the front and back.

|||
|-|-
|![IMG_20240801_164620.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoK5MNm162eSpRVpKeezz9ZHjEZNRi5WCEtSUgzvJT87MB1c7t2Cx1LfbJwMx2CzNKq.jpg) | ![IMG_20240801_164746.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoAZhn1dV7cDBzcCCjvJp9TeYSVFyv5E1A3yYjELvFEkAtEHSX5cPe5FoTdi6dh3XNm.jpg) |

|||
|-|-
|![IMG_20240801_164819.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoAZL9tetRABzm6LnaCVhYyHascXpuyHL2EYgNDZFGjqzZ72tF76vNPgucFDx8UREX1.jpg) | ![IMG_20240801_164937.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eonk26fTJXXbGj8LBNM2ExwoA55TsuqLMAgpX2VcpaSm34wbwYVHfkh3jfHp8EbeJsv.jpg) |

![IMG_20240801_172918.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoChfpYjyDNoSfaJKmgvJopSuq2RFmccf91YBq4J91xnXcuzL571ue19ic2YfvPBTp7.jpg)

I could only work on three corners. And then I would seal up the remaining edges for the last corner on the outside after closing up the box. Before that, I had to lay out the tin foil on the inside.

I may have been ripped off with the amount of tin foil I got. Thankfully, the amount I had was just right. And then I successfully layered every part of the inside with tinfoil using some glue.

![IMG_20240801_173436.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23u5xwNuWn54irwREzfn9BYEGepDqLsG2iJhPAsWuiSSKUz27NosQPz6tCuaU5dZf9H6o.jpg)

![IMG_20240801_180826.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoCgE4H3ZBZ6W7N8nGeKCkeLcZPsTeMa1LDQy4DymiRtCxqn9yqWGyUemBEv72K2GQh.jpg)


---


Then it was time to join up the last corner. And I used another set of L-shapes that I made earlier to do that.

I observed that light could spill out somehow from the corners. That could be a problem, so I had to seal them with some pieces of hard paper. Again, I used some glue to do that.


![IMG_20240801_181515.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23wC3L7wrm3NJMSVhsUi5smC86ct83ofr3tzV8niiZCyN9GorJGYXUHiD63TQaKzJ8tnB.jpg)

|||
|-|-
|![IMG_20240803_152118.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EokcBTtFiKubcSLVhHwgT6VyhZWqKxazgwwVBqpsixp7baMNnT6MDT26MMtJGyYkYPd.jpg) | ![IMG_20240801_191021.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23tm7Pry5EiDKxSBhE9GCMzG9fB53GLFV4Px19PoiLwWFrrSbqDGuinbZFnTUqXN1Msoq.jpg)
|
Now, for the stand. I just picked up one of the microphone stands we had at home to do the job. To mount the softbox on it, that's where the 2.5mm wires came in.

I didn't have ropes around, so I had to use the wire. 2.5mm wires are thick, strong, and can retain form.

I used the screwdriver to perforate where the wires would go through the top of the softbox. I put the wires through them and shaped them into hangers. Afterwards, I slide the microphone arm into the hangers, and voila, the softbox is now mounted.

![IMG_20240803_152830.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EokfbLPmUQFSTwbRDGsayuqRrvxmG23QB7dVNqzPZamNQcfkPMnNroZhCd3CCVMDeKG.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_152516.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EppLB63A1UrGHf3vo5rHUBhi1PqzLo9vMYrJEg9uhHdoh4vXr5ZW5R2uEbAC2hzkKH4.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_152916.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoyPReAmg47FExxE7J8uTovRZDtnHAnY23n6FskJShFE1cFHdmyvXYYWGP34cPTdp7n.jpg)


![IMG_20240803_153025.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoEqaHb2pCAYN8dbEkCmaY8HFNUFvbizTozZuRxzQpZqoqq4sbnfTm99GYktJ7Bfo3x.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_153028.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EogNpozESJwXzM3vkQgvr3U9AZ99xPeAeNPymVotKC21Jjew2gosxH5DtzhMknpmUSL.jpg)

The final step was to put on the diffuser panel, and that's what the white polythene was for.

I carefully cut the sides of the bag to open it up the way I wanted. And then I just laid it on the front of the softbox and held it in place with sellotape.

![IMG_20240803_151051.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eo8TivS1i421Yetub8bDHv1KdmtJWXb7RfLmT21JZMBt71EZZT8yAXapeJBQpy2qMpU.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_151453.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EonkyhP3pJJrhM6sQHZA4nUbmY3tv5DV5atnC1aB1T4KjrxBAoSMnexT47xipAZWbcN.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_152042.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoAaB4UEUZgjQcu2kx3dQXT4j7wQtwvdgH6aQdtxTi9L6JTvpRtUWK18XWzzSfNqqPf.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_174222.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eoc6V6ycPY82YvGN9yhM8Xx4SEAz9vqvsZBkaCSc969x2V31qXdcBsScE3b8YjKieYb.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_174228.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/Eoni8Dt1Geq8VJsHXtmVr7aPUejD3bBMU1xLrfMR9m7ZCExENV9BvXabWuxiousNAgp.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_174256.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/EoeCWNfjvLYaXPNP4Fg3wxb4sM8xLWV1utX9tffyfEKzApdXCmHSbJJ7QiwmjyYdJDy.jpg)

![IMG_20240803_163031.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23uEz3q9qfdMu1szkNk1UUpS4Q9GBSQa3Wagy2jJ7aVmRJVrdkR1QCe5cAKmVhb6tHXWU.jpg)

![1722724919417.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/olujay/23wMUH9P6LcTV9CQ8zWSujo4nYzzSZZVDPdGwqZHtScGqmiHgmNUun8whTYXKzRpxWRXv.jpg)

I can easily put in the light bulb from the back, as there are flaps created for that function in the design at the beginning.

And there, dear audience, is our DIY softbox. I spent about a dollar to achieve this.
</div>

---

All images belong to me Posted Using [InLeo Alpha](https://inleo.io/@olujay/jays-1-diy-softbox-lf1)

Jay's $1 DIY Softbox

Hello Hive community!
I'm thrilled to finally join the Hive community. I have always been curious about this platform. @olujay always share his content links on Whatsapp for people like me to feed their eyes and learn.
As a writer, and an inquisitive person, this increased my curiosity and wanting to explore my writing ability.
A day came, I phone called @olujay to enlighten and put me through on how to go about being on the Hive and yes, he did put me through!

![20240616_190112_952.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23zm36fHfpMxWzj4koc9vNVTFRJrjn8WntF73e6pvrpYiwC3EcsGBVbmNfxiVykQ7u4Yf.jpeg)



**ABOUT MYSELF**

My name is Oyetunde Mayowa but I prefer to be called by my pen name-*JustMayowa*. I came from the south western region, I am a Yoruba lady. I am petite and dark in complexion. My state of origin is Osun State but currently, my permanent state of residence is Oyo State. If you're familiar with the Yoruba culture, you must have heard about the Great Alaafin of Oyo.

![IMG_4649~3_1.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23vi21QmjdxG8XQGPDa1b9PGgArgVjeDqRWw2JFVnZ6Z1NWqmBJr54xKoWVtHFFD6AJAE.jpg)


***JustMayowa*: HEARTFELT WRITING, NO PRETENSES, RELATABLE WORDS**

After using *'Mayowa'* as my pen name for a while, I decided to switch to *'JustMayowa'.*
The name *JustMayowa* has always resonated with me, and I feel it is a reflection of these values I appreciate: ***Humility, Authenticity and Kindness***. I chose this name because I want to be unapologetically myself, without pretenses. 
I strive to create a safe space where others can feel comfortable, valued and respected. My goal is to connect with people on a genuine level, fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of community. I believe that by being true to myself and staying humble, I can make a positive impact and inspire others to do the same.

![textgram_1722082024.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/AJejVqqtVUqcHS3KeNfZWyoJH5mjEDABTMRRX8SfunF7bPwk5iZKZdZF69Hpg5u.png)


**EDUCATION**

I am a graduate of Microbiology from one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria. I've always wanted to study Microbiology since when I have been in secondary school because I love Biology and it was my best science subject. Because of my love for Biology, I decided to further into Biology by studying one of its branches  which is Microbiology.
I have a deep enthusiasm for Microbiology and with my love for writing, I'm excited to pursue my passions and make a difference in my own unique ways.

![20230811_163232.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/EobzjvGPmEhPG9MC8ajDSJexmkHNdoMT94c4b8v7JNTHDVGc9ngM15qkeTVq1xwvEBP.jpeg)


**FRESH OUT OF CAMP, READY TO SERVE**

NYSC, National Youth Service Corps is a program that involves a one-year service to the country for all graduates of higher institution under the age of 30.
The program aims to promote national unity, develop skills, and foster leadership qualities among young Nigerians.
I'm excited to share that I've officially started my NYSC journey! I'm a fresh corp member, ready to serve and make a difference in my host community. I just got back from camp and I'm eager to dive into my primary place of  assignment. Wish me luck on this new adventure!

![IMG_1869_1_1.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23xyQqiDUwxb6zqBdecqei2TCY8BshhwCu49VRuoEKu7NWybWyH7NzqZxqXmANxzwdhq5.jpg)


**MY WRITING JOURNEY**

I have always been writing since I was young. I jokingly tell myself writing is a God's given talent to me and a hereditary trait because my dad enjoys writing too.
I remember when I was young, I would write stories with my "nursery and primary English." While in Secondary School, I did submit my write ups as part of the school's magazine content. During my stay in higher institution, I still kept on writing, improving my writing skills. I always charge myself to always aspire for more.

![Screenshot_20231017-015653_1.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/243M9WmTuy4FeRMVJ3VUXpZXHfivNB7o9SLAGMPoJinyDK2JSBY5SprFh3SiVjbJhk5df.jpg)


**ASIDE WRITING WHAT ELSE?**

I love children! I love bringing myself down to their levels, I love interacting with them. I joined the children's department  in my church.
I love listening to songs a lot. I don't just listen, I check out lyrics of songs. I love understanding each lines of a song, the meaning of the lines and what the song is really all about. I also love learning literary devices artistes make use in their song lyrics.
I am a lover of God, I love God so muchhhhh!
I love taking pictures, I love to keep memories because there will come a time, later in life, I'll look back at these pictures, smile and bring back memories.
I love drama, I was in drama unit in my fellowship back in the university. I modified a script and directed a play acted by the children department in my church.

![IMG-20240526-WA0134.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/EogNJoUDMAbVk7rHwGgMhjG7jP8CufQ8Lso9XBcWvavzXyakDB7Zxb1z1MoGUSyPUN4.jpg)



**WHAT'S MY NICHE?**

I honestly don't have a particular niche. I most times write according to how I am been inspired. I have written plays, poems, microbiology-related contents, bible-related contents, life related contents.

![Screenshot_2024-07-13-20-16-26.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23uFo7Axsy5o4G7FTDgzNAc6uqZvFuW1qj7sCMR86rjFN2yhmBNn4FH8XyEw7jVNLbejB.jpg)



**WHY HIVE?**

Whenever I check out links to @olujay contents, I always have this yearning to also want to share my thoughts on the platform.
I believe choosing Hive will give me an opportunity to share my thoughts, experiences and insights to inspire, encourage others and find solace in knowing they are not alone.
I also believe Hive will give me the opportunity to grow, learn, connect with people of like-minds and bring out the best version of me.

In conclusion, I'm open to learning from various people, connecting with like-minds, improving my writing abilities, developing myself and being a better version of myself.
Let's grow and learn together! Thank you!

![20240616_181123_998.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/justmayowa/23wMqMYiBLoMnXWvE6vMSneStkryASiiivc9VnmYrvvbeSKZHu3C3ZxP2bcGvwg3FYVoe.jpeg)


JustMayowa (48)